Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) — Ok firstly, I [kind of] liked it.  Now I’m going to talk about my problems with it.  Minor spoilers but if the plot is what you were looking forward to about this movie, you will be disappointed. First what the fuck was the deal with the Autobot versions of Stepin Fetchit and Al Jolson?  Holy shit, I’d heard that there was racial stereotyping in this one, but people tend to overreact to these things.  I figured it would be more along the lines of Jazz in the first movie.  Sort of a stereotype but not a particularly offensive one.  But then I saw the damn movie and Jesus Christ, really?  I thought we had moved past the age when black people [uh, or black robots] were thought to all act like Flavor Flav [then again, I guess some do (namely Flavor Flav)]. But Tom Kenny, the voice actor, is a white dude.  When black people reflect the worst stereotypes of the black race, it’s unfortunate.  When white people do it, it’s a god damn minstrel show.   Second, if the Decepticons can look human, wouldn’t that be a much easier way to stealthily achieve their goals thus crippling the human race from within before launching their main offensive?  Okay, that’s not fair.  Like I said, the obvious plot holes that you can pick apart in normal movies don’t really apply here.  This movie is about cars and planes who turn into big fucking robots and kick the shit out of each other and blow shit up.  Oh, and as an added bonus EVERY WOMAN IN THE MOVIE IS A DAMN SUPERMODEL (except Sam’s mom, but she might have been a smoking hottie when she was young, who knows?).  Michael Bay camera-fucks the shit out of Megan Fox and Isabel Lucas (and several extras in Rainn Wilson’s classroom) [I borrowed the term “camera-fucks” from another review because it really is the only work that aptly characterizes those shots].  So what does this all add up to?  Two and a half entertaining hours.  It ain’t David Mamet, but I was diverted. Sidenote: I wanted to see this damn movie in IMAX, but the fucking Esquire IMAX theater doesn’t have it yet.  They’re showing Star Trek.  And “coming soon” is Harry Potter.  Meaning they aren’t even carrying it.  It was a diverting movie experience but it would have been a GIANT BADASS diverting movie experience on IMAX.  The Esquire has lost my business.  There is an “IMAX” theater in El Dorado Hills but it doesn’t have the GIANT screen IMAX is known for, but they charge the $15 anyway.  This is what comedian Aziz Ansari has aptly termed “bullshit IMAX.”  The next time I want to see an IMAX movie I will just go to San Francisco and hit up the Metreon.  I will call some friends, hang out afterwards, and make a day of it.

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