Sorority Row (2009)

Sorority Row (2009) — Every single bit as stupid as you would expect it to be, and equally hilarious.  Seriously.  It’s walking that very thin line of “were the writers actually going for funny or is this what passes for good dialogue in their minds?”  I’ve never seen the original.  I don’t think it would matter if I did.  This movie is that wonderful trashy throwaway inconsequential slasher movie that’s fun to watch on DVD with your three most smartass friends.  This stars such acclaimed actors as that chick from The Hills (who dies painfully, which makes my heart happy), that dude from 90210, that kid from Frailty and Brick, that girl from Fired Up!, Bruce Willis’s daughter (I would like to say Demi Moore’s daughter but unfortunately for her the poor girl looks more like daddy), that girl from Step Up 2, and for some odd reason Princess Leia.  Truthfully I did not figure out who the killer was, but I think they just had a dartboard with characters and decided the killer that way.  It doesn’t matter, there’s plot logic justifying it.  But young actors/actresses seem to love those roles where they get to act all crazy because they’re either the killer or the person you’re supposed to think is the killer, and I love watching those scenes because they think they’re showing off hardcore acting chops but they just don’t quite hit that mark.  If you have an evening of laughable slasher movies, popcorn, and smartass commentary with friends, this is perfect for that.  Spoiler alert: they totally set up for sequel!  To a slasher movie!  Who’d’ve guesed?

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