Meandering [Slightly Drunken] Thoughts on the 2011 Emmys

So I figured if I’m going to blogging about television, I should probably weigh in on the Emmys. I realized this though as the Emmys were already in progress and I had been drinking (I started to sober up somewhere around the Drama categories). These are my meandering real-time thoughts as I watched the broadcast. I do not vouch for my spelling.

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Jane Lynch’s opening musical number left me kind of cold. Is it a rule that the host HAS to sing a song and dance? Mad Men cameo was fun though.

So the chorus for the night is Zachary Levi, Colbie Smulders, Taraji P. Henson, Kate Flannery, Wilmer Valderama, and Joel McHale.

Starting with the comedy…

Julie Bowen won Best Supporting Actress (Comedy). Don’t watch Modern Family.

Ty Burrell won Best Supporting Actor (Comedy). Still don’t watch Modern Family.

“A bunch of cunt – trymen…” –Gervais

“Someone didn’t get enough hugs from Mommy and somehow it’s Hollywood’s fault.” –Lynch on Gervais

Best Directing (Comedy) went to a guy for an episode of Modern Family. Time to add it to the Netflix queue, maybe?

Best Writing (Comedy) also goes to Modern Family…  I’m noticing a trend here… I guess Archer and Futurama are in a different category because they’re animated. The fact that Community wasn’t nominated in either this or the directing category frustrates me.

Oooo, Charlie Sheen showed up… I wonder if he’ll… stick to prepared comments designed to make light of real troubles. Oh, he’s playing this straight? I’m not buying it… Well, I guess he just wanted to apologize (or his publicist wanted him to). Not very entertaining…

Jim Parsons won Best Actor (Comedy) for The Big Bang Theory. Don’t watch the show regularly but have enjoyed it a lot every time I have.

I like Amy Poehler’s seating revolt. I guess if they pay that much for those fucking dresses, why not show them off?

Melissa McCarthy for Best Actress (Comedy)? I do not know anyone who even watches Mike and Molly. Before Bridesmaids I didn’t even know who the hell she was.

The Office parody: actually quite amusing. Why couldn’t they really get Jason Momoa for the Khal Drogo bit? For all the things that are annoying as hell about Ashton Kutcher I do respect his ability to make fun of himself.

We’re in the Reality portion of the show. Time to hit the tequila? Then again they also lumped Variety in with it…

Kaley Cuoco messing up a joke is adorable.

I don’t watch any of the Competitive Reality Shows but every time I’ve seen So You Think You Can Dance I’ve liked it a lot… but The Amazing Race wins. I have never seen it so I can’t really say if that’s good or not.

Writing for Variety/Music/Comedy Series: rooting for The Daily Show… but those puppies are so cute that I’m cool with the Fallon crew winning… but The Daily Show wins! Hurrah! This is the first show to win tonight that I watch regularly.

The Lonely Island performing “Jack Sparrow.” Damn that was a quick wardrobe change for Michael Bolton. Changed to “Three Way.” William H. Macy looks uncomfortable. Now Akon is there and they’re doing “I Just Had Sex.” NOW IT’S A MEDLEY.

Best Directing (Comedy/Variety): Don Roy King for Saturday Night Live. No complaints. Kind of a sweet acceptance speech too.

“Let’s see who will lose to The Daily Show this year.” Not very tactful Scott Caan. Vindicated somewhat by The Daily Show’s 9th consecutive victory in the Best Variety category.

Drama time now!

Writing (Drama): Can’t believe The Killing was nominated. NOTHING HAPPENS. Friday Night Lights wins. Now that that show is over I think I need to start watching it on Netflix Instant.

Best Supporting Actress (Drama): rooting for Margo Martindale, even though I haven’t seen the second season of Justified, because she always makes everything she is in better. Yay! She won! “Sometimes things take time…”

These weird instrumental versions of pop/rock hits like “Howlin’ for You” and “Pumped Up Kicks” are making me feel like I’m watching some vestigial remnant of an old school entertainment industry struggling to keep up with the trends of the youth market…

Directing (Drama): rooting for Scorsese. He wins! Boardwalk Empire is amazing. “Maybe he’ll use this Emmy to make his way into the film industry.”

Best Supporting Actor (Drama): rooting for Peter Dinklage. Yay! He won! (I’m on a roll…) The microphone was lowered too much… awkward… Game of Thrones rules.

Jane Lynch making fun of New Jersey… because that state hasn’t suffered enough at the hands of television… Those Jersey Shore kids are just as horrible in a sketch as they are in real life…

Best Actress (Drama): rooting for Elizabeth Moss, because Mad Men and The Killing are the only two shows I watched this past year and as good as Mirielle Enos was on that poorly-written show, Moss was better. Juliana Marguiles wins.I always liked her on E.R. I didn’t care for the first couple episodes of The Good Wife, so I stopped watching. It seemed to me to just be yet another legal drama, but from what I understand it’s really become something more. I kind of regret bailing on it.

Best Actor: Can’t pick… Michael C. Hall, Timothy Olyphant (even though I haven’t seen Justified’s second season yet), Steve Buscemi, or Jon Hamm… (House was too erratically written this year and that detracted from Hugh Laurie’s performance). Kyle Chandler wins. Damn, I should start watching Friday Night Lights.

Miniseries and TV Movies time now… LL Cool J raps over the chorus…

“A lot of people are curious why I’m a lesbian. Ladies and gentlemen, the cast of Entourage.”

Best Writing (Miniseries/Movie): I have only seen Too Big to Fail. Downton Abbey wins. I don’t even know what that is. I am uncultured.

Best Supporting Actress (Miniseries/Movie): I have not seen any of the nominees. Maggie Smith wins. It’s about time someone finally recognizes classically trained British actresses!

Best Actor (Miniseries/Movie): I have only seem William Hurt in Too Big to Fail. Barry pepper wins for The Kennedys? I heard that was just awful, but it’s not like there’s never good acting in bad movies.

Best Directing (Miniseries/Movie): Still only seen Too Big to Fail. Downton Abbey wins again.

Why no Emmy love for The Special Relationship? I thought that was pretty great… or was that nominated last year? I don’t remember… (Quick Wikipedia search: Yes. Yes, it was.)

Dead people montage: (I’ve always liked Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” but I’m not crazy about this version… no wait, judged too early, once they started harmonizing that was beautiful…) Stephen J. Cannell, Cliff Robertson, Elizabeth Taylor, Anne Francis, James MacArthur, Peter Falk, Harold Gould, Stanley Franze, James Arness, Janet MacLaughlin, Madelyn Pugh Davis, Steve Landesberg, Blake Edwards, Betty Garret, John Cossette, Bill Erwin, Barbara Billingsley,  Leslie Nielsen, Tom Bosley, Reza Badiyi, Leonard Stern, Ryan Dunn, Denise Cramsey, Frank Potenza, Bob Banner, Andy Whitfield, Fred Steiner, Jill Clayburgh, John Dye, Jack LaLanne, Al Masini, Sada Thompson, Laura Zisken, Don Meredith, Sherwood Schwartz, Bubba Smith.

Best Supporting Actor (Miniseries/Movie): Seen Paul Giamatti and James Woods in Too Big to Fail. Rooting for Woods, who played such a fucking dickhead but played him well… Guy Pearce wins for Mildred Pierce. I recorded Mildred Pierce but then the family switched from Comcast to DirectTV so the contents of our DVR were lost…

Best Actress (Miniseries/Movie): Seen none of them. Rooting for Taraji P. Henson to make up for the Oscar she SHOULD have won… Kate Winslet wins for Mildred Pierce, surprising no one.

Instrumental version of “Hey Ya!” It’s 2003 again…

Best Miniseries/Movie: As should be abundantly clear by now, I have only seen Too Big to Fail. Betting Mildred Pierce or Downton Abbey wins though… Abbey it is.

Best Drama (isolated from the rest of the Drama awards): Mad Men, Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones all have my undying love… if I had to pick I guess it would be Game of Thrones? Mad Men won again, as it has EVERY YEAR IT HAS BEEN ON. I am fine with that.

Best Comedy Series: 30 Rock is my favorite of the nominees but I’m going to take a wild guess and say that the show that has won everything it’s been nominated for, Modern Family, might just walk away with this one… aaaaaaand it did. No love for Community? NOT EVEN A NOMINATION FOR COMMUNITY?!?!? The Modern Family guy’s speech was somewhat touching and funny though so congratulations I guess.

***

In closing I would just like to point out that The Wire, which in my humble opinion is the greatest single television program in the history of the medium, was nominated only twice for writing. Never for acting (and everyone on that god damn show was great), never for directing, and never for Best Drama. I’m not the only person who was such a huge fan of The Wire. Many people discovered it late but most critics had labeled it the best thing on television. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it unanimous, but a LOT of people thought so. Quality is subjective. Award shows are a lot of fun to watch but they aren’t an objective determination of what really is the best.

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