Judge Dredd (1995)

Judge Dredd (1995) — I simply cannot mount any kind of well thought-out intellectual defense of this movie. There is none. It really pisses all over the comic it takes its name and basic story from, which would be defendable if it was quality cinema in some measurable way. But it’s not. But you know what? I enjoy this movie anyway, in spite of how bad it is or maybe even because of how bad it is. Maybe this is what people mean when they say they like a movie “ironically.” It’s like junk food. I know it’s bad for me but I like it anyway. It is a hell of a lot of totally idiotic fun. I like Sylvester Stallone playing someone who is apparently called Judge Dredd, despite only a very superficial resemblance to the long-running character from English comics… who never EVER takes his helmet off (Stallone spending a good 90% of the movie helmetless and all). I enjoy the mega-hotness that is Diane Lane (and I will not apologize for that!). As much as it deeply shames to admit, I even chuckles at a few of the dumb jokes spouted by comedy black hole Rob Schneider. This is a guilty pleasure. Maybe because I saw it when I was 11 originally but whatever… it is what it is.

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