Pain & Gain (2013)

Pain & Gain (2013) – I would just like to point out, before venturing into any sort of valid critique, that this is the only movie about which one can say and be grammatically correct “from the director of and starring The Rock.” Had to get that out of the way… Let us consider the … Continue reading

Batman & Robin (1997)

Batman & Robin (1997) – Sigh… so in the past couple years I have revisited a couple movies that I remember hating and finding out they weren’t quite as awful as they were in my memory (The Phantom Menace was by far the most surprising of these). So I have to admit I went into this … Continue reading

Planet of the Apes (2001)

Planet of the Apes (2001) – Sigh… so one of the benefits of having the rather excellent Rise of the Planet of the Apes come out last year was that it would wipe the stain of this ill-conceived remake from our cultural memory. Not so much. It was on cable a little while back and my … Continue reading

Sorority House Massacre (1986)

Sorority House Massacre (1986) – There is a man some of you may have heard of named Roger Corman. He makes cheap movies. He has for over fifty years. Said cheap movies have given starts to stars like jack Nicholson. Some of them launched the careers of directors like Francis Ford Coppola, Jonathan Demme, Martin Scorsese, … Continue reading

Spider-Man 3 (2007)

Spider-Man 3 (2007) – Sigh… I said I was going to revisit the Sam Raimi Spider-Man films… and unfortunately that means watching this one again. I can’t believe I even own it (it came with my Playstation 3). Completist that I am however I just had to hold onto it and watch it during my … Continue reading

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) – So… um… right… so when I first saw Seth Grahame-Smith’s novel Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter in the bookstore I had what I assumed was the appropriate reaction: I laughed. It’s a movie about the Great Emancipator hunting and killing imaginary undead bloodsucking fiends. That’s comedy, right? Right? Surely such … Continue reading

Hemingway & Gellhorn (2012)

Hemingway & Gellhorn (2012) – This review is going to be pretty short because I don’t have much in the way of thoughts about this movie. The film is about the often tumultuous relationship between war correspondent Martha Gellhorn (Nicole Kidman) and famed novelist Ernest Hemingway (Clive Owen). They go to Spain during Franco’s takeover … Continue reading

Rock of Ages (2012)

Rock of Ages (2012) – The vast majority of my reviews tend to be positive, in case you hadn’t noticed. Or rather they range from lukewarm appreciation to outright enthusiastic. Some bad ones slip in but overall they’re favorable. I do indeed like most movies I see. That’s usually because if a movie looks like … Continue reading

Take Me Home Tonight (2011)

Take Me Home Tonight (2011) – This article was originally published on on 4 March 2011. I frequently see commercials, or rather public service announcements, preaching the importance of the first five years of a child’s life. Apparently they are the most influential in a human being’s development. Well, the first five years of … Continue reading

Swamp Thing (1982)

Swamp Thing (1982) – I am a fan of the Swamp Thing comics. I’m not just talking about Alan Moore’s acclaimed run on Saga of the Swamp Thing back in the 1980s. I’m not just talking about the awesome work Scott Snyder is doing on the title for DC’s New 52 relaunch. I’m talking about … Continue reading