Alien 3 (1992)

Alien 3 (1992) – So in 2003 the Alien series came out in a deluxe edition box set somewhat stupidly called the Alien “Quadrilogy.” (Quartet. The fucking word is quartet.) Ridley Scott came out with a new Director’s Cut of Alien. James Cameron supervised the restoration of his Director’s Cut of Aliens. Jean-Pierre Jeunet created … Continue reading

Aliens (1986)

Aliens (1986) – Sequels suck, or so they say. I personally believe that blanket statements are always wrong. ALWAYS. (See what I did there?) Obviously, everyone can come up with exceptions to the “sequels suck” rule. The Godfather Part II won the Academy Award for Best Picture and is considered by many (yours truly included) … Continue reading

Alien (1979)

Alien (1979) – So Starfleet is a pretty cool idea. I mean a sort of egalitarian organization that goes around exploring and keeping the peace. That’s part of the utopian vision of Star Trek. (Gene Roddenberry’s Star Trek, anyway, I don’t know so much about J.J. Abrams’s…) A lot of space-set science fiction tends to … Continue reading

Planet of the Apes (2001)

Planet of the Apes (2001) – Sigh… so one of the benefits of having the rather excellent Rise of the Planet of the Apes come out last year was that it would wipe the stain of this ill-conceived remake from our cultural memory. Not so much. It was on cable a little while back and my … Continue reading

Prometheus (2012)

Prometheus (2012) – Ridley Scott has not made a science fiction movie in 30 years, since his unparalleled masterpiece Blade Runner. Almost as good (and definitely more popular) is Scott’s second-best film Alien. Alien kicked off a franchise given us the great sequel Aliens, the sequel which I like (though few others seem to) Alien … Continue reading

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) – I read an article the other day that said that Chris Brown will be appearing on an upcoming single by Rihanna. I thought “girl, what is wrong with you? That guy beat the shit out of you and you’re working together?” If I may deeply offend my … Continue reading

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007) — This movie just about is the unwatchable piece of dogshit it’s made out to be. Alien Vs. Predator was a flawed and mediocre movie but every flaw it had seems to have been overcorrected here in the opposite direction to the point where it sucks even worse.  In Alien … Continue reading

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

Alien Vs. Predator (2004) — This movie isn’t quite the unwatchable dogshit some have made it out to be, but it is profoundly mediocre at almost every turn.  The combination of the two franchises is one highly anticipated by geeks ever since that alien skull donned the hunter’s trophy wall in Predator 2.  This movie … Continue reading

WALL-E (2008)

WALL-E (2008) — I love everything about this movie: the Charlie Chaplin-esque “silent” love story, the cute cockroach [between this movie and Ratatouille, Pixar seems to be going out of their way to make vermin adorable], the unsubtle biting social commentary and underlying environmental message that hits you over the head and still manages not … Continue reading

Toy Story (1995)

Toy Story (1995) — I remember seeing this movie in theaters when I was 10.  Then it’s been on TV a bunch and I own the DVD but now it was playing on the big screen again so fourteen years later I saw it again.  In 3D this time so that was cool.  What I … Continue reading