Planet of the Apes (2001)

Planet of the Apes (2001) – Sigh… so one of the benefits of having the rather excellent Rise of the Planet of the Apes come out last year was that it would wipe the stain of this ill-conceived remake from our cultural memory. Not so much. It was on cable a little while back and my … Continue reading

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Deep Blue Sea (1999) — This article was originally published on 12ftdwende.com on 2 September 2011. Today the film Shark Night 3D opens. I mentioned last week that I was pretty stoked about this, mostly because I remember how much fun last year’s Piranha 3D was. More 3D boobs and blood (or tits and teeth, … Continue reading

Ted (2012)

Ted (2012) – I had a teddy bear growing up. His name was Teddy (I’m the creative type). He was my best friend and truth be told, I still kept him around longer than most kids do (not like in junior high or anything like that but still). He sits on a shelf in my … Continue reading

Project Nim (2011)

Project Nim (2011) – This a powerful movie but don’t watch it unless you are ready to have your heart ripped out and thrown against the wall. Holy shit… Imagine all the saddest parts of Rise of the Planet of the Apes (and don’t lie, you know that movie made your eyes tear up) but … Continue reading

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) – This article was originally published on 12ftdwende.com on 5 August 2011 I know I’m not very creative with my article titles, but I really had to fight the impulse to just call this one “DAMN DIRTY APES!!!!” because that really is one of my favorite things … Continue reading

My Big Ass Oscar Article 2012

If you want to know what I felt were the best movies of the year etc. then that’s a different article altogether (one that can be read here). This is about the Oscars. For most categories, I just offer a quick pick for what WILL win and a brief explanation for why I think that. … Continue reading

If I had my own damn Award Show…

Well, the Oscars are coming up in a couple days. I’ll get my picks and predictions and whatnot posted Sunday morning and then try to do some sort of real-time reaction thing like I tried doing with the Emmys a while back… In the meantime I figured I’d chime in with what I actually thought … Continue reading

Immortals (2011)

Immortals (2011) – I am not alone in saying that Tarsem Singh is one of the most astonishing visual directors working today. His 2000 thriller The Cell was amazing to watch… unfortunately the plot was stupid and the non-D’Onofrio lead actors were phoning it in. Still, the look of the movie is nothing short of … Continue reading